Thursday afternoon I did lunch at the Capital Grille. I finished and left at 1:34PM (my buddy realized he was late for his 1:30 otherwise I never would have remembered nor cared to add the :04). I was sufficiently full, my palate delightfully satisfied, and my disposition enriched by a wonderful meal (read: a glass and half of Cabernet Sauvignon). And I was exhilarated by the prospect of returning home to blog about it. It may have been the wine talking, in fact a day later I’m sure it was, but every step I took seemed to generate another thought bubble that suggested I use the most insignificant observation I’d just made for this post. “Wow, traffic runs downtown on Lex, I need to get that in my blog. So cool.” Or “everyone is wearing a heavy coat today. Maybe that’s somehow analogous to my search?” (Either that or it was really freakin’ cold on Thursday.) Anyway, I got home and started to regurgitate on the screen. But life got in the way via three phone calls. And then, writer’s block.
When I picked up the computer today and started reading what I’d written, I got to this nugget (Eeesh): “The sugary sweet heirloom tomatoes so perfectly complimenting the milky taste of mozzarella cheese all lying in a sprinkle of balsamic vinegar and olive oil.” Huh? Jeffery Steingarten I’m not. And it continued: “the wonderfully robust cajun ribeye cooked to perfection (medium rare) with just the perfect amount of dry rub added.” Umm… ok. (Not a) nice try. Here I was trying to be someone I’m not. I’m not a food critic nor am I very good at describing dishes. But I was a writer and dammit, I was going to write.
During lunch, conversation touched on my blog. People have been giving their opinions on it because of course, everyone has an opinion. And they’re entitled to them, just like I’m entitled to hear them, thank them and move on. My friend told me he liked my writing but wanted to see more from me. Really lay it on the line. I’m generally an open book and he wanted to see that in my writing. There’s a fine line between what you can and can’t share on the internet, especially during a job search. But he asked me something I’d already contemplated but hadn’t embraced. Would I want to work for a company that didn’t want to hire me because I’d been honest in something I’d written? And my answer is no. I have to embrace who I am. This is not to suggest I’ll be irresponsible with my posts, but if I’m going to do this, I need to not be afraid and do it 100%. I won’t sell myself out, my life is too precious for that. I can already hear some friends saying, “Oh, no. He’s an idiot. And he’s going blow it. He’s going to jeopardize his future.” I’m not an idiot. I’m Brian. And world… it’s on!