Not on grilled cheese…

My sister’s always quick to remind me, or anyone listening, that everything tastes better with bacon.  I respectfully disagree.  I get what she’s trying to say, that bacon is awesome, and it is; however, when it comes to breakfast meats, for me, sausage always takes the cake.   In fact, in my opinion, sausage happens to rate favorably against most any other meat.  So when it came time to catch up on Tuesday with an old friend at the diner, and she ordered the grilled cheese with bacon, I thought, while I could make a case that sausage might taste better on a grilled cheese, she obviously nailed it.   What wasn’t so obvious to me, but what I was soon to find out, was how wonderful she is and will be as someone for me to lean on during my journey.

My friend and I worked together at my last job.  She was my boss.  However, soon after I started, she left for an opportunity with another company in our industry.  Fortunately for her, it didn’t go so well.   She found herself at a crossroads in her life; “it’s never too late,” she told herself, and she went for it.  And she’s winning now.  I want to win, too.  So yesterday afternoon, I listened.

I often find myself paralyzed when asked what I want out of a career, what I’m passionate about.  Not because I’m afraid but because I’m not quite sure.  Not quite sure about your passion you ask?  Yes, as it pertains to something I want to do with my life.  Look, I really enjoy a lot of things, and am interested in learning more about most of them.  But passionate?   I’m passionate about my family and friends.  Everything else is gravy.  This is not to question the viability of the inquiry.  It’s a very pertinent question – people generally want to help but they need the “how” and this is a direct way to get at it.  Not to mention, it would certainly help me if I could answer the question myself.  Because I’m 100% certain once I figure it out I’m going to do great things.

You see what I mean with the paralysis part – I’ve just rambled on about nothing.  All the while I need a direction.  My friend helped me out with this.  She suggested I pick a sector (non-profit speak for industry) I’m interested in and go for it, attend groups, network with people and take classes.  As I go along, I can adjust, veer ON path, the path that was really meant for me.  Why do I tell you this?  Because it excited me.  I felt relief in knowing I wasn’t dysfunctional in not knowing what it I wanted to do, and that I can decide along the way.  I definitely have to get a move on, but it’s happening.  Step by step, until that moment I really make a difference in me and my world.  World… it’s on.

Epilogue: (Can you even do an epilogue to a post?  Wouldn’t that just be another post?  I don’t care, I’m doing it.)  A couple of weeks back I posted a note on Linkedin trying to streamline support.  I asked my network the following question “If you were out of work, who would your “go to” person be for positive support, ideas, vision and contacts (not specific to industry)?”  And it went over, as my wife puts it, like a fart in church.  Not one response.  With my meeting on Tuesday, I found that person in my network.


Thanks for topping us off, Scott

Thursday afternoon I did lunch at the Capital Grille.  I finished and left at 1:34PM  (my buddy realized he was late for his 1:30 otherwise I never would have remembered nor cared to add the :04).  I was sufficiently full, my palate delightfully satisfied, and my disposition enriched by a wonderful meal (read: a glass and half of Cabernet Sauvignon). And I was exhilarated by the prospect of returning home to blog about it.  It may have been the wine talking, in fact a day later I’m sure it was, but every step I took seemed to generate another thought bubble that suggested I use the most insignificant observation I’d just made for this post.  “Wow, traffic runs downtown on Lex, I need to get that in my blog.  So cool.”  Or “everyone is wearing a heavy coat today.  Maybe that’s somehow analogous to my search?”  (Either that or it was really freakin’ cold on Thursday.) Anyway,  I got home and started to regurgitate on the screen.  But life got in the way via three phone calls.  And then, writer’s block.

When I picked up the computer today and started reading what I’d written, I got to this nugget (Eeesh):  “The sugary sweet heirloom tomatoes so perfectly complimenting the milky taste of mozzarella cheese all lying in a sprinkle of balsamic vinegar and olive oil.” Huh?  Jeffery Steingarten I’m not.  And it continued: “the wonderfully robust cajun ribeye cooked to perfection (medium rare) with just the perfect amount of dry rub added.”  Umm… ok.  (Not a) nice try.  Here I was trying to be someone I’m not.   I’m not a food critic nor am I very good at describing dishes.  But I was a writer and dammit, I was going to write.

During lunch, conversation touched on my blog.  People have been giving their opinions on it because of course, everyone has an opinion.  And they’re entitled to them, just like I’m entitled to hear them, thank them and move on.  My friend told me he liked my writing but wanted to see more from me.  Really lay it on the line.  I’m generally an open book and he wanted to see that in my writing.  There’s a fine line between what you can and can’t share on the internet, especially during a job search.  But he asked me something I’d already contemplated but hadn’t embraced.  Would I want to work for a company that didn’t want to hire me because I’d been honest in something I’d written? And my answer is no.  I have to embrace who I am.  This is not to suggest I’ll be irresponsible with my posts, but if I’m going to do this, I need to not be afraid and do it 100%.  I won’t sell myself out, my life is too precious for that.  I can already hear some friends saying, “Oh, no.  He’s an idiot.  And he’s going blow it.  He’s going to jeopardize his future.”  I’m not an idiot.  I’m Brian.  And world… it’s on!