Unintended almost consequence

Wow, I’m really doing it.


Never thought it would happen.

I co-starred as (half a) subject in a blog – my wife had the vision to start blogging way back in 2002 about our trip to Ireland – but I’ve never written one.  Until today.  I was laid off last week and decided, with my free time, it was time to give it a whirl.  (And it looks good to have a blog on my linkedin profile.) So here goes…

Like I mentioned before, I got laid off last week.  For me and my family, it’s a blessing, and not a disguised one at that.   This is not to say anything bad about my former company.  For my first five years there was a learning curve but eventually my talents exceeded the requirements of the job.  I needed to move on yet was in a state of inertia around finding a new job.   My friends and family probably (actually, I’m sure) felt as though I was a broken record, hearing over and over again how I needed a new challenge yet couldn’t get off the schneid (baseball reference).  Sure, I’d inquire here or there.  Apply cursorily to a job posting on theladders or indeed (I’m not getting royalties for those plugs). Even had my resume done twice, professionally (well, the first go, not so much, but the fee was professional).  So this change in employment status was just the kick in the pants I needed.

I’ve now established this laying off is a GOOD thing.  Am I scared?  Yes.  Am I nervous about money?  100%.  But this is what needed to happen and I’m empowered and feeling more alive than I have in years (around work).  But also know, although I’m absolutely winning the battle with my psyche today (and last week), it’s a very small playing field and the line between a good versus bad day, being a proud man and confident I’ll win versus feeling sorry for myself and thinking I can’t because I’m an unemployed loser, is pretty slim.   So, while I know the sentiment is from a good, caring, concerned, friendly, loving, warm, supportive and overall positive place, when I tell you I got laid off (because I will – in fact I just did about five times in this post) my preference is that you ask, “is that good or bad?” rather than saying “I’m sorry.”  And that will give me (or anyone you have this conversation with) a chance to add fuel to my fire by telling you “It’s great! and this is why…”  And my why is because I’m committed to finding something fulfilling, exciting, inspiring and financially rewarding.  “Would you like to Super Size your meal for only $2 more?”  Just kidding.  I’ll see you at the top because I’m a winner.  World… it’s on!


  1. Alex Mero says:

    I am telling you, it will be the best time of your life. You will get in shape, be a better Husband, better Dad. Everything gets better. You will be recharged!! You are no longer in cruise control. Everyday will now be a diffferent day. Some advice about that worry bug, that feelling of uncertainty, Just clear your mind and you will be free, Think of your mind as muddy water waiting for the dirt to settle to the bottom and clear water will re-appear. Best of luck!


  2. Out-Numbered says:

    Someone once told me, “Where ever you are, chances are, it’s where you’re supposed to be”. I’ll go with that one. One day at a time bro. Love the blog. You had me at “Wow”. xoxo


  3. schmutzie says:

    Welcome to blogging!


  4. twobusy says:

    Bienvenue au unemployment & the online world. Which, not coincidentally, go together like peas & carrots.


  5. fatboyfat says:

    Welcome to blogging. Have a play with it and don’t be scared!


  6. Karen says:

    Welcome to the Blogesphere!


  7. bob says:

    Hey. A friend was promoting your blog so here I am. I don’t know you so I’ll be perfectly candid.

    A) It’s never a good idea to speak ill of your prior work experience in a public forum. ESPECIALLY if it is to make your LinkedIn profile more attractive to prospective employers. So please; rethink, rewrite.

    B) What matters in life? having a fulfilling job is great and all, but as a family man it’s your loved ones that come first. After all, that must be why you went to work at all these past for years, otherwise you surely would have left earlier. So I like your enthusiasm for this opportunity that being laid off is, but I think we all still need to reassess your priorities and what ‘success’ means to you. I have been in and out of work for the last… lifetime, And although there is no college tuition fund, no retirement fund, and no end to my consternation of how I’m keeping a roof over our heads, I need to only look at my daughter and know I am a HUGE success. The time I have spent out of work has been time with my daughter; exploring the world and stretching our imaginations. I make every effort to make my time with her, not only memorable, but IMPACTFUL too. My daughter is the advanced learning classes, is tops in her class, and tops in the nation for math. The gifts I give her now while I am out of work are far greater than a college fund. And the gifts I receive .from her are even better. I live in the moment and get the most out of the fleeting time that I have with my child. I live for today and couldn’t be happier.
    So while I suspect you will be back to work before to long, ENJOY this time. You can’t stop the worry but you CAN make the most of this time and find blissful peace between the worry.

    Best of luck


    1. gemmasdad says:

      Hey Bob –

      Thank you so much for your feedback. Much appreciated.

      After re-reading what I’d written, I’m not sure I agree with your assessment of my “speaking ill of a prior work experience”. When I wrote “I’d been dying a slow death at this company for the last four years…” it was only to suggest my own personal growth was being adversely impacted. I wasn’t fulfilled, inspired or getting the best out of who I am. I worked hard in my position and reached a plateau. In the beginning there was a learning curve but eventually my talents exceeded the requirements of the job. It was time to move on. To my former company’s credit, they did what I was struggling to do and needed done for years. I walked the plank, got to the edge and they pushed me off. Thankfully.

      (And, re: linkedin, I exaggerated for dramatic purposes – this blog is not going on my linkedin profile.)

      You make a great point about what matters most in life. A friend of mine sent me a note on FB suggesting the same. And I agree with you both however, yesterday’s post was simply about people’s reactions to my current state of unemployment (with a little background). And a reality of life is people do have to make a living, and if I’m going to make a living, my wish (professionally) is that what I do fulfills, excites, inspires and financially rewards me and my family.

      Again, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. Hope you’re having a great day! I am! I look forward to more of your comments.



    2. She Shleegy says:

      One other thing you’ll have to look out for in the blog community are the ones who choose to wrote a blog post in your comments.
      Those are usually the ones who are the attention w****…..oops….
      Did I just type that out loud?
      Best to find your blocking apparatus and use it at your free will.

      That said…check out my rock and roll kids and become a fan!
      Good job! Keep writing and don’t let those A.W’s try to beat you down!


  8. Zpak says:

    You should look into a position with MLS. Talk about passion…


  9. Love the positive attitude, love seeing an opportunity for change, love the blogging. I’ll be back to check in and see what transpires!


  10. John Tax says:

    Just read you blog. Great attitude. Good luck with “finding yourself” and figuring out what is important and what is not. Hopefully this will be a good thing. I wish you the best. I just read a good book which you might find interesting – “Fat, Forty and Fired” by Nigel Marsh. Check it out if you get a chance.


  11. Johnny G says:

    Well written Goldy. I like the positive ‘tude. Seems like it was the break you wanted.
    Give mi ladies a squeeze from the Godfather 🙂


  12. JD says:

    I worked 14 years for a company I thought I stay with for a year or so. Fortunately, while there, I gained useful professional experience and made some good friends, a few anyway. The later years were awful, for a variety of reasons. Eventually, the company sold. Free at last? Yeah, it was that, mostly. I was blessed with financial provisions to carry me through. But, when I didn’t work, for 18 months, things began to seem pretty bleak. Fortunately, I’m back at work, after enjoying some good time off. My total income is much less than it once was; but, overall, it’s all good.

    Your approach to the situation so far seems great. I say, do your best to enjoy the chance to restart. Hope it comes together as you’d wish.


  13. Noodles says:

    Good message for us all. The whole “I’m sorry” thing is not only way over used but it’s also seldom delivered with any sincerity. So, “is it a good thing or bad thing” is my new response in situations like this – starting now. See below:

    Brian writing a blog – is it a good thing or a bad thing? Let the rants begin!


  14. Abby Shapiro says:

    Brian.. take it from me , so days will be tough BUT if you open your mind you will be amazed the opporyunities that come up! Career transition has taught me a lot about the world around me but most of all alot about me. I am excited to see you follow your new BUMPY path…


  15. Suzanne Bonne' says:

    Hi My old friend Brian – I am excited for you. When my mom died in 2005, I had to come to Long Island to work in order to take care of my dad. I had such a succession of awful jobs at well known, but poorly run companies, where I knew I was overqualified for what I was doing. I had read a book in the early 90’s, called “Leadership is an Art” by Max Depree about the Herman Miller company. The philosophy described in the book has stayed with me all these years and inspired me to keep searching for such a company to work for. Last September, while sitting at my desk in yet another terrible place, I happened across an ad for a company I had been wanting to work for since I had read that book. I had always felt too intimidated to contact them, but this time I decided to go for it. At an age where no one should be looking seriously at me, I have landed a job with the kind of company I have been dreaming about for 20 years. I know things work out if you don’t give up. So keep looking my friend – great days are ahead for you.


    1. gemmasdad says:

      Hi Consumed By Wanderlust –

      Is there a hidden meaning to this post? Some sort of blogging language I’m unfamiliar with?




  16. dangillis says:

    The “pingback” means that I’ve linked your blog post to one of mine because I thought it was, on some level, related to what I posted.

    Or did you mean the 525600 minutes part?


    1. gemmasdad says:

      Sorry… I wasn’t even familiar with a “pingback.” Thank you.



      1. dangillis says:

        No problem. I had the same reaction when I was first ‘pinged’. 🙂


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